Dear Luv Doc,
My ex and I broke up some time ago. We had a mostly positive relationship and ended things amicably. This very column was often part of our shared reading discussions, so it feels strange to reach out here now.
Lately, we’ve started spending time together again. There’s still a spark, and I can’t tell whether it’s nostalgia, loneliness, or unresolved feelings. Part of me wonders if reconnecting is a good idea, while another part fears reopening old wounds. How can I tell if this is genuine or just comfort from the familiar?
The Luv Doc replies
The pull of familiarity is powerful. It’s easy to mistake it for love because it feels safe and known. That doesn’t necessarily make it bad—but it can blur judgment. Before diving back in, consider what has truly changed since the breakup. Are your old issues resolved, or are you revisiting the same patterns?
“Love shouldn’t only feel like comfort. It should also inspire growth.”
If you both can approach each other with honesty about past mistakes and clarity about your current needs, then exploring that connection might make sense. Otherwise, you might just be seeking warmth from a fire that no longer burns the same way.
Sometimes, moving forward means respecting what was—but choosing not to repeat it.
Author summary: The column advises caution when rekindling a relationship with an ex, emphasizing self-awareness, growth, and honest communication over mere comfort.
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